Papa
I have never willingly gone to your grave
I don’t believe in it
And I know you didn’t either
But I still have this force within me
That draws me to you
We created a shrine for you
We light candles for you throughout the day
We acknowledge you whenever we see images of you
You are the force within me
I am drawn to you
Sometimes I get a whiff of the cologne you wore
Our last Christmas gift to you
Your favourite scent
The scent we smelt in your coffin
I sense you around me
I sleep in the room you took your last breath in
In the very same space, we saw you fade away in
I lay in that position every night
And I wait
I wait for you to come to me
Draw me closer to you
Draw me to you
Allow me to sense you more
I am waiting for you,
Papa
Charissa Cassels is an Honours graduate in Journalism and Media Studies from Rhodes University. She is currently a writer and editor for The Disrupting Africa Encyclopedia.
Her work has previously been published in New Contrast, Liquid Imagination, Different Shades of The Feminine Mind and Best New African Poets 2018 Anthology. She won the essay competition hosted by the Ahmed Karhrada Foundation with her essay titled "Orange.Coloured.Erased."
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